Welcome back for another Nice Day. It's only the second episode and we're already on a popular 60s TV plot, the visiting Arab potentate (used on BATMAN and GET SMART). So expect savage Arab stereotyping, uncontrollable urge for wives, and what's generally a hard episode to get through.
Big Town is agog with excitement as Sheik Abdul Bimir arrives for a ceremony at City Hall. Mayor Finney (even wearing one of those cartoony big mayoral badges with ribbon) introduces the dignitary and talks about his country's value in terms of supplying oil (naturally). Our Hero Carter Nash (William Daniels of course) is in the crowd and spots a bedouin-looking gentleman trying to heave a decorative cement sphere loose from it's moorings... and onto the sheik. Carter tries to tell the policeman next to him, but he and everyone else shushes him.
So Captain Nice goes into action, changing in a conveniently open florist's van. He catches the tumbling architecture as it falls. Dumb as a brick Chief Segal (Bill Zuckert) yells to "Get the police!" after the would-be killer (reminded that he *is* the police, "I certainly got here fast.") Carter asks the mayor if he'd mind holding the objet d'art and flies off, while Sgt. Kane explains Captain Nice to the sheik, "He's always around when there's trouble." ("Who isn't?)
Our hero returns having failed to nab the culprit. The sheik threatens vengeance when the perpetrator is caught, including lashes. Captain Nice says he should show mercy. "Mercy for a man who tried to kill me in cold blood not two minutes ago?" Captain Nice's riposte: "I know, but how long are you gonna hold a grudge?"
Credits. This is the first of five episodes co-written by Treva Silverman, who was one of the main people behind THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW but also had credits on shows ranging from THE MONKEES to LANCELOT LINK: SECRET CHIMP (okay, no great leap there). Her co-writer on all five was Peter Meyerson, with whom she wrote on THAT GIRL and HE & SHE. Solo, Meyerson scripted MONKEES as well and went on to a lengthy stint on WELCOME BACK, KOTTER.
Now Sheik Abdul gets down to business in the mayor's office. The sheik is played by Larry D. Mann, who was a familiar TV character face, often in dialects (three different nationalities on HOGAN'S HEROES) and had been on GET SMART the previous year. The Canadian born Mann would be a regular on POLICE SURGEON in the 70s and had guest roles on US fare including GREEN ACRES, COLUMBO, IRONSIDE, BEWITCHED, and MY FAVORITE MARTIAN. In later years he often played judges (recurring on HILL STREET BLUES) but his biggest pop culture contribution was as a voice actor, heard in Rankin/Bass's Toronto-recorded projects including RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER (as Yukon Cornelius!) and WILLY McBEAN AND HIS MAGIC MACHINE (Professor Von Rotten). He played multiple roles for Filmation (including several secondary Groovie Ghoulies) and DePatie-Freleng (Crazylegs Crane, Blue Racer, and others).
The sheik is in town for a massive shopping spree, even expressing a desire to buy the whole city ("I can send back what I don't use.") While the mayor telephones local merchants, Sgt. Kane brings a report to the chief and catches the sheik's eye. He in turn tells his chief aide Ibid (James Lanphier) that he wants her, while a weary Ibid says he's up to 119 wives.
Ibid is played by James Lanphier, a familiar character actor who (due to both a facility with dialects and a fairly swarthy complexion) was often cast as various ethnicities, including Middle Eastern, Indian, and European, and when not tied to a nationality, often exuded superiority as manservants or maître d's. He was one of Blake Edwards' favorite players, playing the ethnic speciality in THE PINK PANTHER (as the Princess of Lugash's faithful protector) and DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES (a foreign prince) and his more servile function in THE PERFERCT FURLOUGH (assistant hotel manager), THE PARTY (chief butler), and a regular for the final season of PETER GUNN as restaurateur turned headwaiter Leslie, plus a passel of other Edwards projects (BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S, OPERATION PETTICOAT). Outside of Edwards, he played usually untrustworthy, usually spying foreigners on GET SMART (of course), THE WILD WILD WEST, THE GREEN HORNET, and MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE.
Ibid follows his sire's wishes by asking for extra police protection, and the sheik chooses Sgt. Kane. As for the assassin, the sheik says to look out for a Dulumba tribesman, "bloodthirsty animals who murder and plunder without conscience." Mayor Finney tuts that they sound dangerous. "Yes, we are."
The rampant stereotyping moves to the crime lab as Sgt. Kane gives the sheik and Ibid a tour and introduces them to Carter Nash. The sheik expresses a healthy interest in scientific technology, but when he asks Carter to simplify how a microscope works, it boils down to "It's magic." (Hoo boy.) Carter demonstrates a lie detector, and the sheik mentions the method they employ: "We chain the suspect to a post in the blistering midday sun, then the entire village gathers round and stones him to death." "But then you never know if he's innocent or guilty!" "We're still ironing out the kinks." These are the "jokes," folks.
Sheik's hotel room. Sgt. Kane goes through an inventory of what the sheik has bought. Then enter a man in a business suit and fez, Yebba, who runs a local Dulumba business. He's played by Jan Arvan, who was a semi-regular in the earliest installments of ZORRO (as Nacho Torres, a local don pursued by the corrupt commandante) and was a regular foil to Red Skelton on TV (often as Clem Kadiddlehopper's paw, as well as various straight roles). He did a GET SMART, of course, and popped up on GREEN ACRES, THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES, THE MUNSTERS, THE VIRGINIAN, POLICE WOMAN, BEWITCHED, and scores more. In film, he was the ship's doctor in THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.
Yebba brings a gift from himself and the staff ("Some of the guys only chipped in a quarter.") Sgt. Kane checks it with a bomb detector, which goes off. She dunks the package in water, though Yebba claims it's a pair of lovely earmuffs. As the hapless merchant is dragged to a room by Ibid, Sgt. Kane finds the box contained... lovely earmuffs. Then an explosion: the bomb was Yebba himself (!) The sheik is even more enamored now that the sergeant has saved his life and proposes marriage. The sergeant seizes on the excuse that she belongs to another and names Carter Nash.
Cut to the man himself in the mayor's office, pointing out that the sheik is a cruel vicious man, hated by his own people and shunned by civilized nations. The mayor, however, only cares about how much money he'll spend (first really accurate part of the episode). Enter Mrs. Nash (Alice Ghostley) at last, and her first name is revealed as Esther. She's irked that her brother hasn't arranged for her to entertain the visiting sheik. The mayor thinks it's a great idea, and Mrs. Nash would have mentioned it earlier but she was having the invitations printed. (The laugh track responds dutifully. I did not.)
Carter delivers the invitation, and the sheik has his harem greet Carter, hoping he'll "take one of them for your very own" and thus leave Sgt. Kane free. When this fails, the sheik plots with Ibid to poison Carter at Mrs. Nash's luncheon, with rare poison Yopa.
At the luncheon, Mrs. Nash is charmed and doesn't understand why Carter thinks the sheik is cruel. Carter explains they finally found the assassin... in little bits. In the dining room, Ibid injects poison in a roll on Carter's plate (Mrs. Nash's place cards are most helpful).
The sheik calls in his food taster, Fetta (Fred Villani). Villani had mostly bit parts on THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E., MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, PETER GUNN, THE WILD WILD WEST, and McMILLAN AND WIFE. Carter feels sympathy for Fetta and offers him his roll, which the hungry taster eagerly consumes (Ibid seems about to stop it but the sheik raises a hand). Fetta drops dead, alarming everyone. Boy, so many chuckles in this outing! Ibid passes it off as a failed attempt on the sheik's life, and the mayor and Chief Segal escort the sheik to his hotel. Carter realizes the poison was meant for him (when he tries to explain to Mom that Sheik Abdul has 119 wives, she says "Every man should have a hobby.")
Hotel room. The mayor and chief fuss over the sheik before leaving... at which point he drops a sack over the sergeant while Ibid threatens to kill her if she makes a sound. We cut back to the mayor and Chief Segal waiting for the elevator. Te chief stakes Sgt. Kane's life that she can handle it, but the mayor is now anxious to be rid of the visitors, especially after the death at lunch. He admits he's starting to believe the tales of the sheik: "He's cruel, vicious, uncivilized, and dangerous." Chief Segal agrees but adds "And yet, there's something about him I don't like." (This is a GET SMART-esque gag, implying the chief is fine with the rest of it, and the closest to an actual funny gag the whole episode.)
The sheik cradles the captive sergeant, claiming she'll learn to love him over the years... and then he'll let her out of the sack. Carter arrives and changes into Captain Nice in a utility closet (after carefully placing his glasses in his suit jacket pocket, which he hangs up). Captain Nice intervenes but Ibid threatens to stab Sgt. Kane. He yields, and the sheik summons burly torturer Sopar.
He's played by Harry Varteresian, a real life strongman and arm wrestler known as Turk who acted occasionally, playing circus strongmen and other tough guys on GET SMART (again), LOST IN SPACE, and THE GIRL FROM UNCLE (later ran a restaurant, later died). Our hero warns Sopar that he doesn't want to hurt him and just lets him break furniture against him (while the sheik and Ibid make a getaway). Captain Nice brushes off the debris, and when Sopar lunges at him, he tumbles out the window... above the sheik. Captain Nice tries to warn the potentate, but he's crushed to death by his heavy minion (nothing shown, but Carter turns away in disgust, also a GET SMART tactic). He flies down, where a crowd gathers around the bodies, and insists Ibid open the sack. Sgt. Kane is finally freed, and she tells Ibid he's under arrest for murder, assault, and attempted kidnapping. ("You arrest people for *that*?") Sgt. Kane is grateful but "doesn't care much for muscle men" (her real passion is for Carter).
Coda. Carter presents the lab findings, while an admiring Sgt. Kane repeats what he says. After some forensic discussion, he wonders if Ibid will be tried by their laws or ours:
when a tribesman lies, they cut off his tongue, and they cut off his hand if he steals. If he murders? They cut off his allowance. (Ha ha ha).
Boy, this one was a chore to get through. And sadly there's at least one more heavily racist episode to come (by the same writers, who also scripted the *best* episode in the series). But the next episode is more promising, a real superhero-style plot, "That Thing." Join us, won't you.
And now, at long last, presenting the exploits of CAPTAIN NICE! The show was one of two superhero sitcoms (along with MR. TERRIFIC) to debut in 1967, in the wake of the huge hit that was 1966's Batman. The shows are often confused with each other: both involved nebbishes who fought crime thanks to a formula induced change, they debuted the same night, both went from Batman's camp to full laugh tracks, and neither lasted beyond one season. In 1967, three superhero shows airing simultaneously was just too much (while now they seem to be everywhere, everywhere I say!)
Captain Nice was created by Buck Henry, co-creator of Get Smart and it shows in sensibility, casting, and even borrowing a catchphrase ("I asked you not to *tell* me that!") It starred William Daniels, an unlikely choice as he was known for his stage work, serious parts on anthology dramas, and humorless character roles in THE GRADUATE and A THOUSAND CLOWNS. Although he did show his funny side in THE PRESIDENT'S ANALYST and years later would return to sitcomdom on BOY MEETS WORLD, with acclaimed turns as a singing founding father (1776), an egotistical surgeon (ST. ELSEWHERE), and a talking car (KNIGHT RIDER) coming inbetween. Still, in the 60s, he always looked like he belonged in thick glasses and a tie, so playing Captain Nice's sometimes testy alter-ego Carter Nash was a pretty good fit.
The second star name in the opening was Alice Ghostley as Mrs. Nash, who as we shall see, pushes her sonny boy into fighting crime. Supporting and guest rosters featured a slew of character greats and up and coming comedians (with subsequent episodes showcasing John Dehner, Bob Newhart, JoAnne Worley, Joe Flynn, Vic Tayback, Simon Oakland, Florence Halop, John Fiedler, and Charles Grodin, several of whom had previously done GET SMART). So now, my aim is to examine the show's fifteen episodes (eventually!) and see what worked, what didn't, and what's aged best.
We begin with the beginning, "The Man Who Flies Like a Pigeon" (written by Buck Henry solo) which is primarily an origin story. Before that however, we get a pre-title sequence narrated in voice-over (by Buck Henry, possibly?) establishing Captain Nice and the milieu of his typically typical crime-ridden burg Big Town. Mark Evanier once surmised that this sequence, disconnected from the rest of the episode, may have been a pitch reel to sell the show, and that makes sense. This also showcases the music of the inimitable Vic Mizzy, who composed the theme song, but this would be the only episode to be entirely scored by Mizzy Music, with lots of the springy, boingy cues familiar from THE ADDAMS FAMILY, Paul Henning's rural sitcoms, and Don Knotts movies to name just a few. (To a large extent, sixties sitcom music *was* Vic Mizzy, or at least as long as he could hold off Frank DeVol with his baton.)
Of the uncredited actors in this sequence, two are recognizable. After an oblivious Carter Nash passes or narrowly misses seeing an assortment of crimes (from armed robbery to kidnapping), he finally stumbles upon a gang of bank robbers. The leader is played by Fabian Dean, who mostly played working types like deliverymen, construction workers, painters, and the like. He was occasionally a hood, including in the second episode of MR. TERRIFIC, where he does get credit, and he'd been in three GET SMART episodes.
One of the crooks doesn't want to rob the 1st National because he has a savings account there. This guy is Charles Dierkop, who with his battered face and nose played a slew of henchmen and heavies, including Flat Nose Curry in BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID and one of Robert Shaw's bodyguards in THE STING (he also got credit on a MR. TERRIFIC and would be an uncredited henchie on BATMAN in 1968). He's had a busy career, chalking up appearances on STAR TREK, THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW, BONANZA, LOST IN SPACE, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, MANNIX, THE FALL GUY, ER, and MACGYVER. He had recurring stint on the right side of the law as Detective Royster on POLICE WOMAN but also appeared in assorted B horror or shoot-em-up movies in the eighties and nineties, usually as a psycho (i.e. the killer Santa who kicks off SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT).
Carter Nash (we don't even know his name yet) goes down an open manhole, while the Mizzy music starts to go full GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN. He takes off his suit coat, loosens his tie, and drinks his formula to become... a fully costumed superhero who flies, crashes into an awning, and then faces the fearful crooks. They throw dynamite at him, which he deflects... into a nearby apartment building. The residents marvel reverently at this property destroying hero, who a boy refers to as "Some nut in his underwear. His Irish-accented father corrects him that it's no ordinary nut, "That's Captain Nice," seguing into the title and theme song (where a Dick Beals-voiced lad asks much the same thing). Here, watch the intro.
After the opening credits, our narrator returns to establish this is the story of the day Carter Nash first became Captain Nice, in his sitcom suburban home with Mom and Dad. Mom is the aforementioned Alice Ghostley, known to many for her roles on BEWITCHED and DESIGNING WOMEN. She was always funny, and Paul Lynde acknowledged he stole his voice from her! She was in two GET SMART outings including one of my favorites (made post CAPTAIN NICE), "The Farkas Frakas" where she's married to Tom Bosley as bickering KAOS agents next door because he can't get any other job. Mrs. Nash is the real power not just in the household but in the city, as we shall see.
Mr. Nash is Byron Foulger, and the joke is that he never puts down his omnipresent newspaper long enough to see his face. His distinctive voice is heard, though, saying one line near the end: "Yes, dear." Mrs. Nash serves him coffee or food by telling him "Up!" and then "Down" as the newspaper is lifted just sufficiently. A truly prolific character actor since the 1930s, Foulger was a member of Preston Sturges' stock company, veteran of hundreds of movies and TV appearances, and a go-to for timid little men (and yes, he too chalked up a GET SMART, as a retired CONTROL scientist). Too many credits to enumerate, but his next recurring TV gig would be on the sixth season of PETTICOAT JUNCTION (1968-1969), replacing taking over as the Cannonball's elderly engineer/conductor. Here he is in a publicity pic for his GET SMART turn:
Carter proceeds to Big Town city hall, where he works in the conveniently 60s TV located police lab, ignored by everyone. Mizzy music goes weird (and the sound effects for lab workings are the same used in Rankin/Bass's MAD MONSTER PARTYY?) as we get a montage of Carter performing chemical experiments. Finally, he's done it! One expects maniacal laughter and "They called me mad!" dialogue.
Instead, our milquetoast hero takes the discovery to the mayor's office, where we meet two more regulars: Mayor Finney (Liam Dunn) and Chief Segal (William Zuckert). Liam Dunn plays the mayor as if he's troubled by ulcers. This would be his only regular TV part, following stage work in the forties and TV casting in the fifties. Afterwards, Dunn remained a familiar face from guest rounds on BARNEY MILLER, KOJAK, THE ODD COUPLE, BONANZA, and others, and especially from his turns in 70s film comedies: as Streisand's even more harried judge dad in WHAT'S UP, DOC? and in Mel Brooks' BLAZING SADDLES (Rev. Johnson), YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (the silent demonstration patient), and SILENT MOVIE. He was always welcome.
Chief Segal is so dumb and incompetent he makes BATMAN's Chief O'Hara look like Eliot Ness. Bill Zuckert was a New York radio veteran, often typecast as cops and other uniformed officials, or as grousing working types. He had been an admiral on GET SMART and would play the head prison guard in a BATMAN outing in 1968, plus a semi-regular on THE WACKIEST SHIP IN THE ARMY as a general. He first brushed with superheroes in his radio days, on THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN and was a staple of the sci-fi anthologies DIMENSION X and X-MINUS ONE. TV guest turns included PERRY MASON (four times as a judge), COLUMBO, THE ROCKFORD FILES, NAKED CITY, CRAZY LIKE A FOX, LOU GRANT, MAUDE, GREEN ACRES, THE BOB NEWHART SHOW, and David Lynch's ON THE AIR. He kept working into the 90s, with parts in ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE and THE NAKED GUN 33 1/3: THE FINAL INSULT (as a giant old man in "Geriatric Park.")
Carter tries to demonstrate his formula by feeding it to a mouse, who he then lets into a cat's cage. While the city bigwigs think this is sadistic, the mouse proceeds to beat up the cat. Mayor: "You've created the world's most dangerous mouse!" Before Carter can explain the full impact of his formula, Chief Segal gets a phone call that there's been a jailbreak. Mayor: "Don't tell me Omnus has escaped." "Omnus has escaped." Mayor Finney testily responds, "I asked you not to TELL me that!" (recycling a GET SMART catchphrase, which the mayor would use throughout). The assembled officials then rush to the jail which, conveniently, is *also* in city hall. There, the chief and mayor provide an exposition dump on Gregory Omnus, master of disguise.
A key difference between CAPTAIN NICE and either GET SMART or BATMAN was its lack of colorful master criminals. Captain Nice would face bank robbers, thugs, arsonists, crooked businessmen, ethnic stereotypes, and all purpose crooks (not unlike Superman on radio or fifties TV). Omnus is the lone exception, who has been known to disguise himself as anyone or anything... including remaining at the crime scene as a Morris chair. Chief Segal sat in him and the only description he can offer is this: "He's extremely comfortable." Carter continues to pester the mayor about his formula, but his honor further exposits that he hired Carter for two reasons: 1), he's a good chemist and 2.) (keep it quiet) he's Carter's Uncle Fred and is terrified of Mrs. Nash. After finally brushing off Carter, the mayor worries that Omnus is still in the building and could be anything (he grapples with his own chair just to be safe!)
Carter has returned to his police lab, and enter our final regular: Sgt. Candy Kane, played by Ann Prentiss. She did a GET SMART post-NICE and had guest spots on BEWITCHED, BONANZA, HOGAN'S HEROES, and others. She was the sister of Paula Prentiss, and her later life was sad and odd (it can be Googled). The sergeant is usually the only competent police officer in Big Town, but right now she's too busy flirting heavily with Carter. She wonders if Omnus is still in the building and suggests they walk across the park. More flirting, but as they leave, while the Mizzy music does that cymbal "t ts ta ts" sound, a tackling dummy behind them is revealed to be Omnus in disguise.
Omnus, having apparently overheard and seen every aspect of Carter's experiment, has designs on the formula, and while lightning and thunder flash, he does some villainous gloating. He's played by tall, long-faced Kelton Garwood, who was also a henchman in the GET SMART pilot. His most notable TV assignment was on THE TWILIGHT ZONE as the tramp in "Five Characters in Search of an Exit" and he was heavies on many Westerns (THE RIFLEMAN, HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL, TALES OF WELLS FARGO, WAGON TRAIN). He also appeared on THE MUNSTERS and THE WALTONS. Around 1968, he changed his professional name (perhaps suspecting the unusual first and last name were a hindrance) to Jonathan Harper and then shortened that to John Harper. Under all three names, he recurred on GUNSMOKE as Dodge City undertaker Percy Crump, appearing on and off for eleven years and a total of nine episodes.
At the park, Sgt. Kane and Carter continue to get cozy, or at least the sergeant tries to, not pulling any punches and speaking in husky breaths. She treats Carter, who admits to being vulnerable, like she's drooling over a choice steak. They get near a statue, where Candy Kane says she'll close her eyes, expecting Carter to kiss her. Instead, the statue behind them conks Carter, revealing itself as Omnus. Underneath the statue getup, he's wearing green camouflage to blend in with the park foliage. He summons five henchmen, not in monogrammed turtlenecks like on BATMAN but for some reason attired as if for golfing and camping. They try to steal Carter's briefcase containing the formula and then capture the sergeant.
Faced with a predicament, Carter Nash steels himself and drinks his own formula for the first time. Lightning strikes, his clothes are shredded, and he drops a tree on an approaching henchman. Carter then discovers he has super speed. The henchmen try to take Sgt. Kane out just as an elderly park guard is locking up. Carter arrives and stops them in assorted super ways, less BIFF POW then bouncing them off of playground equipment and sticking his finger in a gun, like so.
Omnus sends off his remaining henchmen, same results. Lightning flashes again and Omnus, hiding in the bushes, slinks off. Nowadays, this would be a deliberate sequel hook, but here, he just escapes and is never heard from again.
Now Carter converses with the amazed park guard. The guard is played by Arthur Malet, a character favorite who played bearded banker Mr. Dawes Sr. in MARY POPPINS and appeared on the shows of Shirley Temple, Alfred Hitchcock, Dick Van Dyke, and Andy Griffith, as well as PERRY MASON, THE FUGITIVE, BEWITCHED, THE MONKEES, and later COLUMBO and BARNEY MILLER. He was a cemetery keeper in HALLOWEEN and enjoyed a bit of a resurgence in the 80s and 90s, with voice roles in animated features THE SECRET OF NIMH and THE BLACK CAULDRON, supporting parts in HOOK, A LITTLE PRINCESS, and TOYS, and TV spots on PICKET FENCES and NED AND STACEY. Our guard assumes Carter is a "super person," due to his strength, "colorful costume," and feats of daring. As police and press approach, Carter tries to leave, but the guard catches sight of his belt buckle CN. Thus the name Captain Nice is coined. Carter flies off, and the guard is pleased at the story he can tell his grandchildren... "assuming I ever get married."
Now we finally get back to Alice Ghostley at the Nash home, talking to a phone friend about the news of a crimefighter. Mr. Nash crosses his legs. Then Carter returns and explains his newfound powers. Mrs. Nash puts two and two together, although she's not big on the name Captain Nice: "Why not Wonder Man or Musclehead or something like that." Carter wants to keep the secret and, worried of the formula falling into the wrong hands, plans to destroy it when the effect wears off. Mrs. Nash won't allow it: he must make a new batch while she makes his costume. Mrs. Nash explains they live in a "typical American town, jam full of crooks and hoodlums and gangsters, and it's up to you to do something about it." Carter agrees.. and smashes the fireplace mantle by accident.
So concludes our first outing. Not bad, really, but so focused on origin that Alice Ghostley is little used. Despite the laugh track, there are only a few chuckles, which for me came mainly at the chair bits. Still a decent effort and the show improves, but a glance at the second episode fills me with mild trepidation: "How Sheik Can You Get?" Well, your obedient servant shall attempt to cover at one of these Captain Nice Days. Join us, won't you?
As we prepare to ring out the old year, it's worth noting that not all old years are ready to go. 2016 feels like one that most people are anxious to have done with, but the sentiment isn't new. Here it illustrated in a late-run installment of Suspense from New York, broadcast over CBS on New Year's Eve, 1961: "The Old Man."
Here we have an atypical late-run installment of Suspense. It's not very suspenseful, *but* it's also one of the better shows from the waning years, when the series returned to New York. The cast (more on them as we go along) is headlined by Leon Janney in the title role, and Reynold Osborne (who did SUSPENSE and YOURS TRULY JOHNNY DOLLAR periodically between 1961-1962, but I can't find anything else about him). The "heard in tonight's story" crowd are a seasoned bunch, in order of billing, Lawson Zerbe, Ivor Francis, Larry Haines, Ralph Camargo, Rita Lloyd, and Guy Repp (in a one-liner as Johnson).
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By 1961, radio was an old man itself. To save money in the waning years of network radio, CBS relocated both Suspense and Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar to New York (where the radio soaps were still going), in the fall of 1959. By the end of 1962, the soaps were long gone (or moved to TV) and the theater of thrills and the man with the action packed expense account were both axed. Even by 1959, the heyday of Hollywood stars like Cary Grant or Ida Lupino emoting on Suspense had passed; the last few Hollywood years were dominated by the radio stalwarts (and a few names like Vincent Price who might drop in because they still loved the medium). The NY talent pool (old radio pros, stage veterans, a few early TV folks) was more than capable (some like Ian Martin even worked Suspense from the beginning, *before* the Hollywood move).
The real problem lay with the scripts. The show had run through the classics by this point, and it was so hard to get good writers that often the actors (or even technical staff) would contribute (with results ranging from decent to abysmal). "The Old Man" is better than I expected, a fun fantasy reminiscent of Norman Corwin (especially "The Odyssey of Runyon Jones" or "The Undecided Molecule.") This was writer Bob Corcoran's first of three scripts for Suspense, when he was a staff writer for CBS's Stagestruck (blend of variety and interviews, focused on the theater) and TV variety shows (Patti Page), but also dramatic scripts for radio's Rocky King and Modern Romance.
We open with a radio announcer (Camargo) along Broadway interviewing people on New Year's Eve (and trying to keep them from stepping on his wire). One of the folks he encounters is an inebriated gent identified in the credits as "The Tippler" (played by the great Larry Haines). After interviewing senior cab driver Joe Walston (Zerbe), the announcer shrewdly bundles the drunk into the cab.
Meanwhile, in some sort of celestial bureaucracy (Times Past, Present, and Future), the Director (Osborne) and secretary Miss Fowler (Rita Lloyd) discuss the retirement party for "the old man." He knew it was a short-term job, after all. The pompous director harries his assistant (Ivor Francis) but is aware that he has to answer to... "the Chairman of the Board" (heavily implied to be God).
The old man himself resists the notion and the standard gold watch, since he already has his own timepiece (the big hour glass, no doubt). He makes his way to earth... and explicitly, to the New York street where Walston and his pickled passenger spot him. Assuming he's headed to a New Year's Eve costume party, Walston picks him up, talks about retirement age... and then they find themselves transferred back to those otherworldly offices of time and space (snatched by the assistant, though his director chides him for getting those "other two clowns.") Walston's reaction is priceless, thinking the cab must have cracked up and now, "we're deadsville or something?" The pompous director resents that assumption (and word). "Nutsville?!?"
From here, the Old Man tries to argue that he can still fix the problems of 1961 (and thinks the baby new year 1962 looks rather stupid). Walston, now fully aware of what's going on, points out that a lot of people (including himself) will not be sorry to see Old 1961 go (sound familiar?) and encourages him to let the new year take its place, for good or ill. Will the new year of 1962 commence or not? Will the year chime? What will become of the calendars?? Listen and find out.
The sound on the above link is fuzzy in spots and pitch sounds a trifle off, but it's still a good show (and familiar voices like Ivor Francis and Larry Haines are still recognizable).
Cast notes:
Leon Janney, who does a great cranky old man voice here, was 44 at the time, but he knew all about aging out of a job. He had been a former child actor in the late twenties and early thirties, starring in Penrod and Sam (as Penrod) and he was featured in exactly one "Our Gang" entry, Bear Shooters. In adulthood, he worked heavily on radio (including Number One Son on Charlie Chain, John Cole and other suitors on The Romance of Helen Trent), and by this point was appearing near weekly on Suspense. TV included episodes of Car 54, Where Are You and The Defenders. He was later heard on the revival series CBS Radio Mystery Theatre and on National Lampoon Radio Hour (narrating the "Flash Bazbo" segments)
Lawson Zerbe was one of the busiest voices of NY radio, from at least 1937 onward, from soaps and serials to anthologies. He starred as the title characters on The Adventures of Frank Merriwell and Pepper Young's Family (for a time anyway, preceding Mason Adams). He played photographer Dusty Miller on Big Town and was heard at various times on the soap The Road of Life as Dr. Jim Brent's brother Fred and later as his adopted son Butch. Lots of X-Minus One (along with nearly everyone in this episode), Inner Sanctum, Mutual's mystery anthologies, and more.
Unlike most of the others in "The Old Man," Zerbe didn't do on-camera work or even Broadway. He stayed behind the mic, heard in children's records for MGM from the sixties through the seventies (playing the Gingerbread Man, for example). He continued to be heard on NBC's The Eternal Light (which, under their public affairs division, continued to broadcast, finally ending in the eighties.)
Ivor Francis (as the assistant to the director) is a personal favorite of mine. He was heard all over the New York airwaves, including Studio One, X-Minus One, and others. He was most familiar on-camera, however, with his weary face popping up in character roles, often as gentle but absent-minded professor types, doctors, or clergy. He had a regular role on the not-so-hot "Gilligan in the Old West" series Dusty's Trail (as the wealthy Easterner, the millionaire counterpart), recurred on Room 222 as old-fashioned English teacher Kenneth Dragen, was a frequent arrestee on Barney Miller (as shown above), and had guest turns on The Defenders, Kojak, Quincy, Happy Days, Get Smart (as a Stanislavsky-style acting coach), and countless others.
Larry Haines often played crooks, bartenders, tough guy detectives, or general blue collar types. An obvious New Yorker, he could lend menace or humor to his roles, depending, heard on several prior (and subsequent) Suspense installments, Gangbusters (of course), Treasury Agent (starring as the lead, Joe Lincoln), That Hammer Guy (as Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer, who fared better on TV), X-Minus One, CBS Radio Mystery Theater, and hundreds more (including soap stints, such as The Second Mrs. Burton as Lew Archer and on Rosemary as Lefty Higgins, another gangster type, but this one tried to reform). He transitioned well into movies and TV, highlighted by playing poker buddy Speed in The Odd Couple and a long stint on Search for Tomorrowt as Stu Bergen. He also worked Broadway (billed as "A. Larry Haines," for some reason), originating the part of Jason Robards' brother in A Thousand Clowns, as well as the lead in Last of the Red Hot Lovers and Dr. Dreyfus in Promises, Promises.
Ralph Camargo, as the above industry ad indicates, acted, announced (on the Marine Corps recruitment series Marine Story), and narrated (including on the 1959 Suspense version of "The Country of the Blind.") He was a perennial "featured in the cast were" player on X-Minus One and other NY series. ON TV, he sometimes played judges on soaps.
Rita Lloyd worked New York radio (notably the children's series Let's Pretend) but later became a staple of TV soaps, usually as matriarch figures trying to control the lives of their children (usually daughters). Lucille on The Guiding Light was typical of the breed.
So, farewell to the old year, in with the year, even if it does seem like discrimination against the elderly. A better year for anyone reading this, and as the CBS announcer reminds us, "unscheduled stops for many this night of nights will be emergency wards, hospital beds, and the morgue... Be extra careful, extra courteous, and moderate in tonight's celebration." (And don't start a forest fire while you're at it.)
You know, 1960s films sometimes fascinate me. Mark Harris' book Pictures of a Revolution, focusing on 1967, is a good study in general, sort of summing up a time when TV was well established and the theatrical short was dying and the old studio system falling by the wayside. So movies tended to become either more experimental, more tradiitionalist, or pushed for more spectacle without quite succeeding. The "bigger is better" approach really showed in terms of those monster 1960s comedies (and their close cousins, the musicals): Cinemascope (introduced in the 1950s) had become a near standard and was used for most of these, running times grew out of control, huge casts, enormous stunt scenes, and plots which were "epic," or tried to be. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World is the best known of these (and my least favorite), along with several Blake Edwards efforts, the infamous Casino Royale(a mess, but one which captivates), and things like Those Magnificent Men in Your Flying Machines(a kind of combination eic comedy qand quintessential 1960s Euro-American co-production with an "international all-star cast" and another favorite). These movies were big, loud, colorful, overstuffed, uneven, and seldom came in under two hours and tended to involve either disparate groups or disparate individuals competing or quarrelling for a McGuffin of some kind (a fortune, a racing prize, etc.). Anyway, last night I rewatched a personal fave which I hadn't re-examined critically in ages: The Hallelujah Trail (1965).
The Hallelujah Trail (or Trail as I shall probably shorten it for most of this post), like many of its brethren, was helmed not by a noted comedy director, but by John Sturges, the man who brought you The Great Escape and The Magnificent Seven. The stirring score is by Sturges' old colleague Elmer Bernstein, the cinematography is majestic, and it's not just an epic comedy but a period Western too (I'm also a sucker for funny Westerns, and will write more about some others later on). There's a rousing jaunty title theme with a full chorus and lots of handclapping, an incredble roster of talent (including a slew of character actors), nice title caricatures of the stars, and later on, some grapic maps from DePatie Freleng, and the whole thing clocks in at a whopping two hours and 39 minutes (much of the flabby second half in particular needed reducing and a few laps around the gym). Top-billed is that unsung comic genius.... Burt Lancaster?! Well, not quite (and easily parallel to Spencer Tracy in It's a Mad, Mad World), but he mostly plays it straight and succeeds, having fun as the cigar comping, scowling, by the book cavalry veteran Thaddeus Gearhart (the character names are more Preston Sturges than John Sturges at times). And what's the driving element, the big McGuffin (which is not quite the Real McGuffin here, as it's a constant presence): Whiskey!
Radio great John Dehner provides voice-over narration (and translates several exchanges between Indian characters), moving deftly from pompous splendour and "Oh pioneer West" to wry, dry documentarian descriptions, and often finding himself at a loss to describe certain of the cruder or more absurd happenings or attitudes. As a kid, due to the tonal similarity, I actually confused Dehner in this (he's uncredited) with John "Mr. Slate" Stephenson! Anyway, the Frontier Gentleman, in his most dulcet tones, informs us that in the year 1867, panic grips the city of Denver.
The local miners, led by the always fun Dub Taylor, are worried since all the signs point to a long harsh winter, and in a matter of weeks, the city will be bone dry, with not a drop of booze anywhere. To remedy this, a massive shipment is ordered, to be rushed from the Wellingham Freighting company. Oowner Frank Wellingham, played by Brian Keith at his best and angriest, is a taxpayer and a good Republican (one of the better running gags in the film). Wellingham has his entire company tied up in the venture (40 wagons) and demands cavalry protection.
Of course, there are other conflicting interests: those pesky Injuns, of course. A very funny (and unusually brief) scene explains why only one tribe ran out, a band of Soux led by Chief Five Barrels (Robert J. Wilke from Sturges' The Magnificent Seven and Sirk's Written on the Wind). Wilke's task is basically to just "look Indian" and have a funny character name. More effective is Martin Landau in a mostly nonverbal role as the chief's sidekick, Walks Stooped Over (and of course, he does). Next we have a group of Irish teamsters, driving the precious cargo and threatening to strike (a subplot which never gels and mostly just adds to the running time.) The biggest threat comes from a mob of temperance ladies, led by Cora Templeton Massingale, played by a terrific Lee Remick as a charismatic, sexier ancestor of Carrie Nation (but just as determined and eager to destroy intoxicating spirits). The miners themselves later start out, anxious to see that their drinkables arrive. The positions of all parties are displayed on maps, with Dehner deftly doing his best to keep track of who was where and when (reaching a high point at the Battle of Whiskey Hills).
Absolutely priceless, and probably the aspect of the film which has worn best (outside of the narration from radio's Paladin) is Donald Pleasence. Pleasence was always a quirky screen presence, to say the least, and while he was in a few comedies, never this kind of comedy, nor this kind of role. He earned screen immortality in my young eyes as "Oracle" Jones, accurately described by Keith as a "sooth-saying sot": a revered trail scout who sees visions and portents of the future and the correct path... but only when suitably braced with whiskey With his bald head, red flannel underwear, and those blue eyes which conceivably *could* see into realms unknown to mere mortals, Pleasence's Oracle is a true oddball. Nearly all parties (save the temperance ladies) respect Oracle, either due to his experience, his visions, or possibly just his iron-cast liver. Whenever he takes a sip or a swig, a heavenly chorus sings "Hallelujah!" Pleasence bugs his eyes out before announcing "Now I see it!"
